My doctor doesn't think I'm pregnant, but there's most likely an outlying issue with my lack of menstrual cycle. This is a good thing, because not only am I 19 and barely able to take care of myself, but the issues with the one who would've been the father and our families is not something any child should be brought into.
I've been friends with this young man since I was 12. Our relationship has been a constant series of ups and downs, largely due to our own personal issues imploding. I know him better than most people, and vice versa. Its an emotionally codependent relationship, but at least for now we seem to have found a nice balance. Between the two of us, we've dealt with substance abuse, depression, suicide attempts, self-mutilation, abusive parents, and then the issues that our romantic relationship brought on, mainly emotional abuse.
He was like the Titanic, seemingly fine but upon any closer look very structurally unstable. The catalyst, the metaphorical iceberg, was his grandfather's death at the beginning of our romantic relationship. Unfortunately I was the 1500 people who died in the wreck. Being the closest person to him emotionally, combined with our personalities and his way of dealing with personal issues, when he spiraled downwards emotionally he dragged me down with him. I was no saint either, I was 16/17, very immature, and unable to emotionally deal with everything that was going on.
I still have residual issues from what happened. However, he and I have resolved our relationship. We've become friends again, are working through what happened between us, and have an occasional sexual relationship. The biggest issue now, is our families.
We're this emotionally fucked up for a reason. Each of our families is on the more extreme end of dysfunctional. The issues that would've risen from a child of him and I would be catastrophic. Mostly because I don't believe that I could get an abortion. What I would do from there, I'd have no idea. Luckily, I don't have to make that choice.