Thursday, March 11, 2010


A list of possible tattoos:
  • Fiducia and Amore on my right and left wrists (trust and love in Italian)
  • An intertwining jasmine and olive vine up my left thigh and hip
  • Otter styled like a traditional koi design on my right rib cage
  • An "ace of spades" on the back of my neck
  • A wolf-paw yin/yang sign on my left ankle
  • A jasmine flower tramp stamp
  • A "fairy tale" theme sleeve on my right arm
  • A "wild horses" theme sleeve on my left arm
  • A horse on my left rib cage with "L'amore domina senza regole" (love rules without rules)
  • The "aquarius" constellation on my left shoulder blade

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

9 Days Ago

I ran out of hydrocodone. The surprising discovery? Mild chemical dependence towards it. I'm just beginning to feel normal again, to not wake up hating everyone and everything.

I still really want to get high, but I don't want to be dependent on something else...

It's hard when he got a "girlfriend". It won't last, they never do. But right now it hurts, and I so badly want to slip into that sweet release opiates provide. They also make everything, including cleaning my room, so much more fun and bearable.

There's the other boy, the one I could have a real relationship with. I want to be closer to him, because that's the only sober escape I get. His arms make me forget everything. There I wouldn't have to keep in contact just to survive...