Sunday, November 7, 2010

OMG Facebook!!!!1!!!

Dear Insecure Girlfriend of My Best Friend,

Just because you think I'm posting only pictures of your boyfriend does not mean it is true. Unlike you, I am smart enough to change my profile and picture settings so that only my friends may view them. Consequently, you cannot see the multitude of other pictures I have also uploaded, and if I wanted you to be able to see them, I would've accepted your friend request. The only reason you can even see those pictures is because he's a mutual friend.

So please stop adding pictures of you and him kissing. It's gross, immature, and an invasion of his privacy. If you knew him as well as you say you'd know that he hates his personal life dragged out in front of everyone, and that counts. If your relationship was as wonderful as you say it is, then you wouldn't feel the need to display all your intimate moments in addition to endlessly gushing and revealing private details on your home page, which as I mentioned before is completely public.

While he may play dumb, I know its too much of a coincidence that every time I put up a new picture of him, you try to double it. Stop being an insecure little bitch, or at least own up to it. He may be buying your super shy, innocent act, but I'm not.

Also, please stop talking about how you're there for him through his trials, and how you cried when the puppy died. I've been next to him through everything with his family, and I nursed that puppy for 6 hours, with almost no breaks, to try and give it a fighting chance. You never even met her. In addition, stop talking shit to mutual friends, they all like me better than you and you're just making yourself look bad.

Forgive the passive-aggressive nature of this letter, and if you take anything away from it, let it be this.

Go. Fuck. Yourself. Because God knows no one else wants to.

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