Wednesday, August 25, 2010

We fall back Into the same patterns, Same routine

It's so much easier when he's a jerk... But when he does things like sneak a chocolate bar into the alcohol he bought me because I'm having a shit time... Goddamn, it makes me cry like a baby.

I've been clean from prescription pills for almost 6 weeks now. That was an awful night, I couldn't breath or move. I woke up the next morning surprised I was alive. He didn't call because he was scared I was dead...

I think he cares more than he'll admit...

It's horrible of me, but I wish his girlfriend would fail him... Then maybe... But that would cause him pain.. So part of me hopes that doesn't happen.

Different note, my pet rabbit is a little butt. He has an obsession with my favorite boots, and will hop up the storage bins and my bookcase to chew on them. I love Hazel though, he helps keep me sane. Weird little critter though.

I almost feel like if I can lose the weight, then he'll love me... So diet starts tomorrow. Even if I lose it for him, then at least I'll be healthy. Fingers crossed.


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